Change is difficult, especially if it’s as drastic as moving back to your childhood house. The rules and habits you’ve set while independently living will need some tweaking — if you’re lucky — or a complete overhaul. Specific expectations, spoken or unspoken, will have to be fulfilled. It can range from simple tasks like washing dishes and visiting your grandmother at the nursing home to the more infuriating ones like curfews and playing mediator in fights.
You might love and appreciate your parents since they took care of you as a child, giving you food, shelter, and education. But living with them as an adult is a whole other ball game. The dynamics are different, and it will take time and sincere conversations to reach an understanding. However, in some cases, parents can be a source of the psychological issues you’re trying to cope with. Moving back can trigger former negative experiences, which might unravel the progress you’ve made while living independently.
It’s possible to strike a balance between keeping to your original lifestyle as much as possible and navigating through your parent’s house rules. Here are some steps you can take to keep the peace and make the arrangement work:
Extend help with chores and errands
Your parents need visual proof that you turned out to be a responsible and hardworking adult. They won’t be able to come to that conclusion if you don’t help with chores and errands around the house. That is especially crucial if they’re still stuck with the image of you as a messy and lazy youth. Show them the progress you’ve made by volunteering to buy groceries, pay the utilities, and cook a delicious meal. They’ll appreciate the effort and acknowledge that their baby has finally grown up.
Set a deadline and follow it
It might be tempting to leech off your parent’s love and care for you by staying at home indefinitely. But goodwill is a finite resource, especially when you’re not the best roommate. Having a timeline of when you’ll move out and communicating this with your parents will save the sanity of both sides. It shows that this is only a pit stop while you’re trying to get on your feet again. They might even have leads and ideas that can fast track what you’re trying to achieve.
Ignore problems and issues
Everyone has their coping mechanisms whenever difficulties and problems arise. One approach is by denying their existence and pretend everything is fine and dandy. However, this escapism tendency can backfire because strong emotions will always find a way out. You might have a slip of the tongue during conversations or experience unexplainable headaches and symptoms. Dealing with issues head-on by talking with your parents can help relieve the tension and even find ways to move forward.
Expect your parents to clean your mess
Wanting to be treated as an adult means you must act like one. Leaving your clothes all over the floor and failing to remember the house rules shows that you’re still their irresponsible child. That will lead to endless nagging and unsolicited judgment from your parents, which can create fights and disagreements. It’s better to prove them wrong from the start, instead of falling into their perceived image of you.
Having your parents as roommates might be difficult, but it can also improve your bond and relationship with them. Just remember to help around the house, follow your timeline, and communicate any issues.
Meta title: Back to the Nest: Surviving Moving Back in with Your Parents
Meta description: Moving back in with your parents can be difficult, especially if you’re used to being independent. Learn how you can survive the lifestyle change.